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PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:23 am 
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Elvis' Martin D-28
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Aurelia wrote:
And thankyou Rachel for sharing your poem, which sounded very personal indeed, with us... :smt058


Thanks :smt058

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:28 am 
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Elvis' Martin D-28
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Wrote this yonks ago but I tend not to post my poems in here as they tend to be ignored, and I like attention. :lol:

It was days like those
that made us realise
why it started
in the first place

wearing blue, with
freckled faces and
smiles like open arms.
But it changed

the way the cold sun
melts the beating snow, or
the snow smothers
the seeping summer

like I smothered myself
turning my back,
blind to the world
and pleading ignorance.

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Ned: Oh, everyone wants stuff. We wake up, everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn’t mean we need them to be happy.
Chuck: What do you need to be happy?
Ned: You.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:36 am 
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Elvis' Martin D-28
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That's really great Rhona :D

It reminds me a bit of my own writing :)

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:01 pm 
Aurelia wrote:
... "like an angel with no rythm"... I like this line...
As usual, your poem is a mix of beautiful poetry in a either sordid, or awkward, or gloomy universe... This is what I often find (and like) in your style Stephen: its ambivalence :smt023 :D




Thanks hon - such a blast when people like your work :)

Rho (seeing as you're grumpy at lack of response :lol: ) - I liked the reverse-imagery used in your poem, and the sharp turn it takes half-way through at "But it changed....". I like poems with titles however - a title can completely change a poem's meaning. Each to their own :wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:05 pm 
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Elvis' Martin D-28
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Location: Stranraer/Glasgow
I just couldn't think of anything :lol:

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Ned: Oh, everyone wants stuff. We wake up, everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn’t mean we need them to be happy.
Chuck: What do you need to be happy?
Ned: You.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:06 pm 
Rhona wrote:

like I smothered myself



Wrong. So wrong.

:lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:15 pm 
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Elvis' Martin D-28
Elvis' Martin D-28

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Location: Stranraer/Glasgow
right I'll just not bother next time, eh?

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Ned: Oh, everyone wants stuff. We wake up, everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn’t mean we need them to be happy.
Chuck: What do you need to be happy?
Ned: You.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 7:27 pm 
Rhona wrote:
right I'll just not bother next time, eh?



Noooo you clown, I was smutting it up! :lol: Wow didn't realise you were so sensitive... lol


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:51 am 
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Angus Young's Gibson SG
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She is sensitive and sensible :wink:

Your poem was a nice reading Rhona, I like the rythm and how the lines are "cut" (if that makes sense) :D

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:06 pm 
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Angus Young's Gibson SG
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Aurelia wrote:
She is sensitive and sensible :wink:

Your poem was a nice reading Rhona, I like the rythm and how the lines are "cut" (if that makes sense) :D


That's called enjambment, Aurelia.

:D

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Aurelia wrote:
Tom you're a funny genius!

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That's cute, that's cute, that's cute, that's cute, I really love your Tiger Suit.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:12 pm 
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Elvis' Martin D-28
Elvis' Martin D-28

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Location: Stranraer/Glasgow
I was going to say that, but then I thought it sounded french... and maybe to a french person it would be wrong. :lol:

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Ned: Oh, everyone wants stuff. We wake up, everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn’t mean we need them to be happy.
Chuck: What do you need to be happy?
Ned: You.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 4:09 am 
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Elvis' Martin D-28
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Location: TEXAS
MY NAME IS MARK
I LIKE TO BARK
IF YOU CATCH ME
I'LL POKE YOU


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:43 am 
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Angus Young's Gibson SG
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Rhona wrote:
I was going to say that, but then I thought it sounded french... and maybe to a french person it would be wrong. :lol:

:lol:
And now that you've said the word Tom, I know I knew it before, thanks :D

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 10:11 am 
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Angus Young's Gibson SG
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Location: Belgium, België, la Belgique, Belgica
VERY simple, down-to-earth poem, but does come straight from the heart:

Love = pain

What I’ve learned from life
is that love is no special bond
between two people
Love just equals pain

Pain
when you’ve found it
and can’t be together
Pain
when you haven’t found it
and there’s no one for you

What I’ve learned from life
is that I’ll be relieved
when this sum is over
I hope my time comes soon

Pain
when you love
someone too much
Pain
when you can’t love
the one who loves you

How I wish
I was older
or too young to understand
How I wish
we’ve met earlier
or haven’t met at all

Pain
cause I see you
with someone else
Pain
cause I don’t see me
without you


Oh how I wish.

But I forget ‘bout wishes
cause my heart
is already full.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 10:21 am 
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Angus Young's Gibson SG
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I love it Sharon, I find it very touching :cry:

Very.

:smt058

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