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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 6:15 pm 
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Angus Young's Gibson SG
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Stephen wrote:
I think that all poets best work is in their darkest moments (even the funny poetry from the likes of Spike Milligan are quite dark at times). So really, it's not that you need a crush on someone............it's more that you need an aftermath of a crush! :lol:


I blame a few things. Bebo. Lack of interest in this thread. Lack of time for being too busy. And being happy... damn, damn it all!! :lol:


Perhaps if we complain for long enough, people will get their pencils out of their arse, and start contributing more. :lol:

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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 6:18 pm 
I think we should start provoking people.

YOU'VE ALL GOT HUGE FACES!
YOUR FACE IS SO HUGE, IT NEEDS IT'S OWN MOON!!

Yeah, that ought to do it.

:wink: :p


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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 6:22 pm 
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Wedding.

Alcohol gave me looks,
And dance moves to rival Fred Astaire,
Confidence shot through the roof.
I guess I wish I was still there.

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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 6:26 pm 
And in return Tom........


Divorce

It's like being in the army. The fifth regiment.
Medals for all the dishes I ever washed.
No sergeant! Yes sergeant! I never won an argument,
but at least I never became James Blunt posh.

Then our last days struck me like an unseen sniper.
Hit me square between the eyes. Your signature on a piece of paper.


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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 12:38 pm 
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Angus Young's Gibson SG
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Tom, Stephen: because you two sound so sad about this thread not being alimented, here's another small contribution from me (and sorry this isn't an English mother-tonguish writting :lol: )

Off the Road

Drum and Bass hit the chord of nostalgia
In the middle of the night
Hitting an endless road
My eyes get hypnotized by the dancing white stripes

Why did I got up today?
Only to lose myself and my hopes along
How can I live if I can’t breathe you?

Why did I got up today?
Only to let the wounds wide open
And the haunting questions unanswered

Out of sight
Out of range
My voice is innerly shouting
Chasing the ghosts from the past
And my present demons

Your unspoken words
Are a deadly sword
I can’t take it anymore
My patience weakens everyday
While my desperate attempts to reach you are fading away

One word would bring me to life
Yes another could burry us
Can’t you feel it in the air?
Isn’t your heart beating differently?

Grabbing this chaos
Searching for the answer
Upside down
Crawling down and shutting my pride down
Closer I move
Deeper I wound
My knees are melting
My hands grasping this last hope
More than I would confess
Free myself from this pathetic misery
Switching with a complete oblivion
In a world without you…

Still on the road, humming along our tune
Looking up at the stars and the full moon
My only guide
My only sight
Before the final jump
From this cliff.

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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:07 pm 
Wow!

Thanks for sharing Aurelia. That final line is like a huge full stop!

Some lovely ideas there - "innerly shouting" and "dancing white stripes" being two personal favourites.


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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:42 pm 
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Angus Young's Gibson SG
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Aw, thanks for your comments Stephen :D
You know how much they please me each time considering I'm not writing them in French!

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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:57 pm 
I just think it's stunning that you can write so well in English. I bet you're bloody AWFUL when you write in French though! :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 5:02 pm 
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Merci Stephen :p

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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 5:54 pm 
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Open

Lucy kicks her windows wide,
A crucifix, a swollen eye.
A blackbird on a broken branch.
Hums the first bar
Of a funeral march.

Laura kicks her heels high,
Her boring bits are cast aside
A summer sky of solid blue
Means I love you,
I love you, I love you.

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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 6:41 pm 
Makes absolutely no sense to me Tom, but love some of the imagery. Care to explain?


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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 10:26 pm 
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Stephen wrote:
Makes absolutely no sense to me Tom, but love some of the imagery. Care to explain?


Ah, I'd love to; but it really it's meaningless. I kind of liked the Lucy kicks/crucifix rhyme and wanted to incorporate that into a poem. It's all gibberish really. :lol:

I've been working on that "Glorious" poem this work whilst I've been at work, and wouldn't mind an opinion on the final verse.

Quote:
Glorious

I refuse to believe your single
Despite the evidence I've gathered,
You're far too attractive, addictive
To not be engaged to be married.

My heartbeat rests on the hopelessness
Of unremarkable dreams; and things
That were once so easy to achieve
Are made impossible by feelings.

This isn't love, you're just beautiful;
I've fallen head over heart again.
One significant smile, and then
Glory, glory, Hallelujah

Amen.


Has now become.

Glorious.

I refuse to believe you're single,
Despite the evidence I've gathered.
You're simply far too beautiful
To not be engaged to be married.

My heartbeat rests on a hopelessness
Of lust in dreams, and other things.
Words that were once so easy to say
Are now the bark, the bite that stings.

I'm already serving my sentence
Though I've not yet commited the crime.
Don't judge me for falling in love with
A girl who will never be mine.

My head is a chuch of emotions,
One prayer away from the end.
I look up to the Heavens and I wish for
Glory, Hallelujah.

Amen.

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Tom you're a funny genius!

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That's cute, that's cute, that's cute, that's cute, I really love your Tiger Suit.


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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 10:49 pm 
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Angus Young's Gibson SG
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I personaly prefer the last version Tom, because the
"Glory, Hallelujah.

Amen."
part makes more sense with the previous "church" reference.

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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 10:52 am 
I'm still fascinated by your use of church/cathedrals imagery Tom. Is there any reason they appear so frequently in your poetry? Or is it the grandeur of these buildings you feel brings a noble, poignant meaning to your writing?

I agree with Aurelia's comment about the last verse, but as a poet you must go with what you feel sums up the writing best.


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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2008 6:22 pm 
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Stephen wrote:
I'm still fascinated by your use of church/cathedrals imagery Tom. Is there any reason they appear so frequently in your poetry? Or is it the grandeur of these buildings you feel brings a noble, poignant meaning to your writing?

I agree with Aurelia's comment about the last verse, but as a poet you must go with what you feel sums up the writing best.


It's a relatively subconcious thing, but I'm often quite fasinated with the idea of religion in literature, and the way it's referenced in so many novels, poems etc.

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That's cute, that's cute, that's cute, that's cute, I really love your Tiger Suit.


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